How to squeeze your Relatives for more Eidi

Eid Mubarak

Bas? Itni hi?

With Eid just around the corner, we know that it’s almost time for you to extort ask your relatives for the blessed gift of Eidi. But how exactly do you get more Eidi out of them without looking bad? Here’s a quick guide on how to get more Eidi from your relatives.

Leverage your Cute Eyes

Many of us have beautiful eyes, enough to entrap an unsuspecting janu. However, did you know you can use those same eyes on your relatives? When they hand you less Eidi than you spent all of Ramadan 2016 budgeting for, look at them with disappointed and cute eyes. Remember to look as if all your trust in them will vanish if they don’t pay up.

Puss in Boots

Chachoo, Rs. 5,000 dedein

Leverage any Excuse you can think of

Let’s face it; we all have a list of reasons why anyone should pay us more Eidi. They include “I’m an only child,” “bhai/behan/cousin got more,” “you can afford it,” and “Jeena ke maa baap nhi hai.” If you want to squeeze your relatives for more Eidi, prepare a list of excuses and counter-excuses you can use.

For example: If they say they’re giving the same to everyone, tell them you’re not everyone. Tell them you’re Batman and Gotham needs you and to save it, you need money.

Because I'm Batman

Cut a Deal when you can

If there’s one thing Pakistanis know how to do, it’s cut deals. We are a country plagued by ‘mehngai’ and we’ll do everything we can do earn a living. The same can be applied to your relatives, so to speak.

If you have a relative that doesn’t give you much, talk to them separately and tell them that you don’t want to create a scene in front of others so pony up the cash at a reduced rate. As such, instead of settling at Rs. 1,000, you can settle at Rs. 800.

Doing business

Pleasure doing business with you Mamu

Become Trump and Rally the Forces

There’s a lot of things we do and do not like about “The Donald.” While he has issues that clearly necessitate Hannibal Lecter, he’s a genius when it comes to rallying people. As such, become Trump this Eid and rally the forces towards a common, not as stupid, cause.

When there are 2 people trying to get more Eidi out of 10, it doesn’t always look nice. However, when all 10 are gunning for more Eidi, your relatives will have no other option but to give in to your demands.

How to get more Eidi

Dekhlein, hum sab ko zyada Eidi chahiye

We only ever get Eid once a year so we need to ensure that we can loot get as much Eidi as we can. If you’re looking for ways to spend your Eidi, we have the best Eid gifts. If you’re a relative who doesn’t like negotiating in cash, buy a Telemart gift card as Eidi and say goodbye to negotiations forever!

Until next time, Eid Mubarak everyone and enjoy the festivities!

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